The Fates We Have Ordained

There’s this quote from Nabokov’s Lolita that haunts me. I have read Lolita twice in my life, but when I found this excerpt as epigraph earlier this year while reading for field exams, I didn’t recognize it. It haunts me because it lays out so clearly the ways in which I’ve sealed my own fate by presuming not just the narratives of the…

I can’t think of any way out of this feeling of being flooded from head to toe with acid than to try and write through it. But this is when I write the worst. When I’m trying to expel something toxic from my body. I’m not sure what this particular toxin is though. Last Saturday I got an email from…

This #13 (Five Promises)

1. Make time to read whatever I want to read. For the first three years of my PhD program (and before that in my Master’s program), I only read books not directly related to my coursework, exams, or dissertation during summer, winter, spring, and holiday breaks. But now that I’m post-coursework and (very nearly) post-exams, I am going to make…

Summer Slips Away

I haven’t gone this long without posting in years. I’ve somehow managed to have an incredibly busy past two months since I returned from Canada. Very soon after I got back to Colorado in June, I turned 27. Then I decided that I would work from a different coffee shop in Denver every day that I was able for the…

I used to live here. One day I was 21 and I had spent a year taking care of the elderly and flying back and forth between LA and Denver, and the next day I had to decide between going to grad school in Salt Lake City or doing something else in any place other than Salt Lake City. And…

I’m sitting on a couch in the walkout basement apartment of a cute little house on Denver Street in Salt Lake City, Utah, and I’m smiling because this street in the place where I used to live shares a name with the city where I was born, and my dream is for everything and everyone I love to collapse time…

Last week I attended my third ever &Now conference. Past conferences have been held in Boulder and San Diego [also Paris and Buffalo, but I didn’t attend those]. This year’s conference was at Cal Arts in Valencia, about 30 minutes from LA, which made me realize how perfect an art school is as an &Now conference space. The walls of…